‘People, Places, and
Things’
By William Celis
“A haze,” is how Pierre describes his first few days of
treatment for his addictions to Valium and alcohol.
“I can’t remember the first 48 hours,” he says of his 30-day
stay at the McShin Foundation in Richmond, Virginia, last fall.
“A lot of people slept through three straight days. When
you’re on drugs, you don’t sleep. Now that you’re not on drugs anymore, you
need to sleep.”
At 46, Pierre is a successful businessman working for a
national retail company. His addiction to the prescription drug Valium, used to
control his cerebral palsy, was exacerbated by his long-standing and
increasingly heavy dependence on alcohol.
He also didn’t realize until he was an adult that his
father, who died when Pierre was 15, was a heavy drinker. “If I had known that,
I would have been more careful,” says Pierre, aware that medical research has
linked addiction to genetics.
Spring is here, and he’s been out of treatment about a dozen
weeks now — “110 days,” in the world of day-by-day recovery. But his month at
the center, a critical time during which he addressed his addictions, his
health and his ghosts, is still fresh on his mind.
“My mindset was, ‘I am a hopeless addict. What’s wrong with
me?’ You feel like you’re pretty much of an outcast. Addiction is a disease.
Not drinking — it can be averted. It’s the easiest cure in the world. But total
abstinence is the only way because I’ve never met alcohol I didn’t like, and
it’s tough to go to a party and you can’t drink. Alcohol is a social lubricant.
In the society I’m in, it’s readily accepted.”
The social drinking started long ago; he began in prep
school in order to “fit in."
“My story goes back many years. I was a heavy drinker since
high school … I also went to one of the nation’s biggest party schools, the
University of Virginia. It’s probably not a good place to go if you’re an
alcoholic.” The stress and pressure of work, and his chasing success, all
contributed to even more alcohol, he says.
By summer 2005, his heavy drinking, combined with the
sedating effect of Valium, produced results that alarmed his family.
“It got to the point that I had difficulty walking. I was
walking around in a fog. I was out of it,” he remembers. “I was a top performer
at my company, and I was slipping. My brother and sister were very concerned.
They knew something was wrong. We met for lunch and they suggested treatment,
and then they went with me to the treatment center. I guess you could call it
tough love. I didn’t appreciate it then, but I appreciate it now.”
He also appreciated his siblings’ help with treatment costs.
They covered a substantial piece of the $20,000 it cost for his month-long
treatment; his employer covered just two days. But Pierre’s company also put
him on disability, a move that allowed him to continue receiving his salary.
Intervention by and support from family, friends and employers is key, say
physicians and researchers. But the hard work was done by Pierre himself.
“A lot of people think the treatment center is an
institution,” says Pierre. “I don’t. It’s not like going to the Plaza, but I
couldn’t have done this without the center.”
Dozens of meetings – both in group therapy, individual
therapy, Alcoholics
Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics
Anonymous (NA) – helped him identify difficult personal issues.
“I had some relationship problems,” he says of his breakup
with a woman in Texas. “I hadn’t completely gotten over the death of my father.
I’m a very driven personality; I work hard and am very successful.”
Few people, he says, could have matched his talent for
balancing work and drugs. “Other people taking Valium and alcohol couldn’t have
done it. But I couldn’t wait to get home to start all over again.”
Eventually, even he had to admit that he had lost control.
“… With addiction, you are killing yourself on the installment plan… There are
a lot of pressures in this life. A lot of people use alcohol and drugs to
alleviate stress, but when you sober up, all of the problems are a thousand
times worse. You don’t solve the problem. You just numb yourself.”
Identifying what’s behind addiction is crucial, he learned
during treatment with staff and psychologists, but so is moving forward with a
different mindset.
“They (the counselors) are very concerned that you will go
back to your old behaviors,” he says, and he’s got some ideas on how to avoid
that when he moves out of the recovery house he’s been living in since leaving
treatment.
“When I am released, I will change people, places and
things. I plan on getting a roommate, especially someone in recovery, and plan
on moving into another apartment in the same complex. You have to radically
alter your lifestyle.”
He knows he will always be in recovery, so support groups
are a part of his future.
“You need to sometimes take it a little slower,” he says of
the lessons learned during NA meetings. “No one can do it all in one day.”
From the Robert Wood Johnson
Foundation's "Silent Treatment: Addiction in America" project,
produced by Public Access Journalism LLC.