Spotlight On
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| 3/18/2009 |
Spotlight on...
Forty-Four Years In Al-Anon
By Barbara W.P.
I am eighty-two years old, in good health and happy to have spent the last seven years married to the love of my life. The joy that I have in my life today is a direct result of the fact that I crawled into “the rooms of Al-Anon” forty-four years ago, in absolute rock bottom
desperation. I have reflected many times, in the ensuing years, what it takes to really “get” what Al-Anon has to offer. In my opinion, that's what it takes -- rock bottom desperation. The Big Book of AA says, “Half measures availed us nothing,” and I found that to be true as I started my
journey on those Twelve Steps that led me out of the hell of self-pity and self-will into the
joy and peace of mind that all of the Twelve Step programs have to
offer.
In the rooms of Al-Anon, these people offered me loving acceptance. They told me that I was not alone anymore, that they knew I could get well because they had been where I was and were now able to find peace and serenity even though their husbands were still drinking. They told me to “get a sponsor” and “start working the Steps” in order
to get what they had -- peace of mind and the ability to take care of their children lovingly. Moreover, they told me that this sponsor would help me on the telephone to deal with the anger and fear
that had been my response to my husband's drinking.
My son was five-years-old. I knew he was being damaged but I didn't know how to help either myself or him. These wonderful people told me to keep coming back, that it would get better. They said
to attend six meetings and if I still didn't think the Program was for
me, they would gladly refund my misery! They gave me a list of the names and phone numbers of
everyone there and urged me to call anyone to whom I felt I could relate. I went home in a daze of gratitude.
An old-timer adopted me and was the first one to tell me that I was not alone anymore. I felt a glow of hope deep within me that I could really get well, take care of my son, and make a peaceful and happy life for him and myself, and possibly, even my husband. I learned to “work the Steps” by going to three or four meetings a week, getting a sponsor and doing as she suggested, reading Al-Anon literature every morning,
and starting to
write my inventory, which is the Fourth Step: “made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves.” AA calls this “cleaning up the wreckage of the past,” which is absolutely necessary if you want the reward of serenity. I discovered in doing this inventory, that in all my forty years of
living I had not learned anything that would prepare me to live the kind
of life I really wanted, which was “to be
happy, joyous and free and serve those who still suffer.” (Big Book of AA)
When I heard Step Two, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,” I had an “aha” moment. I knew I was on my way
up -- toward home! My gratitude to my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, that I found Al-Anon when I did, knows no bounds. I was able to create a much more
peaceful life for my son and even my husband. I did eventually have to leave my husband, however, because, in sobriety, problems surfaced that were impossible to solve.
As I have lived by the “Steps” these many years, I am able to feel compassion for my former husband. I was glad he found the AA program when our son was eighteen. He was very grateful for what the AA program
had to offer him. I live in a state of constantly amazed gratitude, as I see my Higher Power working in my life, on a minute-to-minute basis.
In these golden years of my life, I
have married the man I always dreamed of. I have sold some of my reminiscent stories, I have been paid for the stand-up comedy I started doing for fun and for free about fifteen years ago. I have also been drawn to art from the time I saw my first crayon, studied with a couple of good teachers somewhere along the line, and I have now been hired to teach beginning oil painting, a couple of hours a week, in the local Arts and Crafts store.
It gives me much joy to share my experience, strength and hope with the world. Al-Anon
has been providing service and hope for 72 years now, and for that I am forever grateful.
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