SPOTLIGHT ON…
Letters from Readers
A number of readers have recently been in touch with Sober
24, telling their stories and sharing their experience, strength, and hope with
us. If you’d like to be in touch, too, you can “Tell Us Your Story” at www.sober24.com/E_Zine/Submissions/159/.
We’d love to hear from you.
‘Pray for me’
This is my
first day of sobriety -- this time. You helped me get sober the last time. And
I blew it. I am filled with self-loathing, which is not constructive. Pray for
me. Thank you.
Lee
‘Tired of ruining my
life’
I've ruined
every relationship I had, especially the one with myself. I started to believe
that I was a bad person because I was truly acting like one. I lied to the
people I loved, I spent financial-aid money for my degree at the bar, I
compromised my personal safety multiple times, I drove drunk, I cheated on my
boyfriend (I really love him). To make a long, ugly story short, I’m tired of
ruining my life one night at a time. Did I mention the endless self-inflicted
embarrassment?
I've only
been sober one day. Let’s see how this goes…
Anonymous
‘Enough is enough’
I am
married to an alcoholic, one who is currently serving time in a correctional
facility for DUI and driving on a revoked license. My husband and I have been
married for 21 years and shortly after he went into the facility we discussed
the idea of renewing our wedding vows once he got out. But, as time has gone
on, I am wanting now to put that off for a while. I have supported him through
all his screw-ups, but now I am wanting
some substantial proof that we are actually going to make it through this
latest round. I love him with all my heart, but there comes a time when enough
is enough.
I really
would like some input from members on this matter. You all know what you’ve
been through and what you’ve put your families through.
Melancholy Mary
‘The help you
deserve’
My name is
Jonny. I am 19 months clean and sober after spending 4 months in a drug and
alcohol treatment center in South
Africa. My life was out of control. I was
out on the party scene every night, drinking and drugging to fit in and to
remove myself from reality. It worked for a small amount of time, but the next
day was always so unbearable the only way I could feel half normal (whatever
that was) was to drink more and to take whatever else I could get my hands on.
It wasn't until I starting losing friends and family that I checked myself into
rehab.
I found an
amazing clinic on the internet located in South Africa. I needed to get as
far away from my lifestyle and surroundings as I could and this seemed like the
best choice for me. And believe me it was!
I spent 4
months there and it changed my life. I no longer use drugs or drink to remove
myself from reality and I learned from the counselors how to live life on
life's terms. I owe my life to this clinic.
So, give
yourself a break and get the help you need and deserve
Jonny
‘What is normal?’
I am
currently 25 years old. I was born and raised in the system -- in and out of
foster care, around the whole drug environment. My mother allowed men to rape
me for dope money. I moved to Sacramento
when I was 15 to get out of the environment and started working for a bank
doing commercial real estate.
At 21, I
was diagnosed with leukemia. Things changed. I met my husband and I thought he
was the one. But, I got real sick about nine months ago. I got laid off, we
lost the house, the car, and everything else. My husband started turning to the
dope world, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. He told me lie after
lie. I should have noticed it, but I didn’t.
Finally, I
moved in with my old foster dad. It has been one month and two weeks. I have
never felt so lost. I started a new job and a friend suggested this web site.
I wish that
things would go back to normal, but then again, what is normal? My thing is
that I do love him with all my heart and want the best for him and I know deep
down inside he loves me, too. He said all he needs is a program, however he
also stated to me one time that all you have to do in a drug program is tell
them what they want to hear.
I don’t
know how this will all turn out. Times are hard.
Gigi
‘I began to change
and to work on myself’
I grew up in
alcoholism. My dad drank but my mom was deeply religious and refrained. Any
social gatherings with aunts and uncles were booze fests. I found myself
copying my dad’s behavior and would sneak drinks. When I was 15 and living on
my own, I began to drink to get drunk anytime I could.
That took
me places like drunk tanks, jail, bars, brief stints on skid row, sleeping in
the bush, and made me do things that were degrading, violent, embarrassing and
sad. It all came to an end in 1987 and I have been sober for 21 years now. I
remember my last drunk in 1987 and how I got pulled over by the police. In the
course of the conversation that ensued, they asked if I wanted help. I said no,
I could make it home from there by myself and was told, “No, I mean for your drinking
problem.” I just broke down and cried like a baby. I guess I was ready for
help.
Unfortunately,
when I walked into AA, so did my ego. I heard you had to do steps and change,
but that didn’t apply to me. I had seen lots of single women and began going to
dances and having fun. The wheels started coming off my wagon after about 5
years of sobriety, so I went to an addictions doctor who directed me to a
treatment center where I went for several months. That’s where I began to
change and work on myself.
It’s been
rough road, and I have crawled over broken glass to stay sober, but it’s been
worth it. I just returned from the Philippines where I got married. I
still have the same job for 5 years and am going to school to complete my
apprenticeship -- all this at the age of 49.
The
miracles have come true and I am so grateful for never giving up or turning
back to booze. My advice to newcomers is to make a commitment to never go back
and your dreams will come true also.
Raymond
‘Life today is just
plain glorious’
I started
using amphetamines from a diet doctor at the age of 13. He also gave me pills
to sleep. I got very thin and that made me feel more popular. I kept using off and on every spring – so I
would look good in a bathing suit.
Eventually,
I had to have those uppers and downer just to get through the day. I met a man
who was an alcoholic. I didn’t know much about alcoholism, but he was a
handsome guy – very smart and funny. We eventually got married. He had a good
job as a New York City firefighter in the Bronx and we had many friends. We bought a house and had
two girls. He drank and at times used cocaine. I kept using uppers and downers.
Accordingly, I had so much energy I could climb a mountain. I kept a spotless
house, became a class mother at my kids’ school, and became involved with just
about everything.
But, as
time went on, our “nice” friends stopped calling and more and more “users”
started coming over. Well, eventually, I got involved with a neighbor and sold
some drugs to an undercover cop. I ended up in jail. My husband started having
blackouts and missing work. He was also sexually abusing the girls and many
others.
When I came
out of jail, I was clean. I started attending Al-Anon and then AA; the girls
went to Alateen. One day my oldest daughter told me about the sexual abuse. I
called the police and threw him out – never would he return again. I got us
into counseling. I felt so guilty.
It took two
years to get my head together. I kept going to AA and Al-Anon. If not for Al-Anon,
I would have killed him, really. I maintained my sobriety, attending at least 8
meetings a week for four years. The girls grew into lovely women. I got a
divorce and went back to school. My ex continued using and died this past
Easter Sunday.
I met a
lovely man 24 years ago at an Al-Anon meeting. He is honest, loving, smart and
handsome. He loves the girls and they love and respect him. I will have 28
years clean on October 31st. Life today is just plain glorious. We
have a great relationship based on trust and respect. He is not an alcoholic,
but he knows the Twelve Steps from Al-Anon. I still go to meetings, both AA and
Al-Anon – not as often as I used to, but as often as I can. We have lovely
friends and a great support system. We have all we need and just about all we
want.
Thanks for
letting me tell part of my story.
Mudka
‘There is hope’
I am
married to a wonderful man who has been clean off heroin for 10 months. I know
wonderful and heroin should not go in the same sentence, but here’s my story
--short and hopefully to the point.
When we
met, he was high. On our first date, he was high. The first time we made love,
he was high. He even proposed to me high. Being very naïve, I had no clue.
He went
through rehab, however it didn’t work. He went into rehab with a bachelor’s in
opiate abuse and came out with a master’s in heroin. He went in and out of
rehab a few times and I had no idea how to help or even if I should stay. I was
pregnant by this time – scared, lonely, and rejected.
After his
third stint at rehab he became sober… sort of. He was on methadone. Then his
sweet mother passed away, which sent his 2 months of sobriety out the window.
He started using more heroin and mixing it with crack. After her funeral he
went into a severe depression. I never saw him. Both of his beautiful sons
never saw him. He was basically one of the living dead.
I filed for
divorce. But I decided to visit him at his mother’s home where he had been
staying for lack of his own home. He looked dead. I still to this day don’t
know how he survived. So his family and I staged an intervention. I’m happy to
report he is clean and sober 10 months now! He also works at the rehab. 180
indeed.
We are
still married. I never followed through on the divorce. I love him; it’s as
simple as that.
This may
not be the next featured article on your web site, but it sure felt good to
talk about it. There is hope -- for the addicts, for the families. There is
hope for my husband. There is hope for our children, and there is hope for me.
Anonymous