SPOTLIGHT ON...
Letters from Readers
A number of readers have recently been in touch with Sober
24, telling their stories and sharing their experience, strength, and hope with
us. If you’d like to be in touch, too, you can “Tell Us Your Story” at www.sober24.com/E_Zine/Submissions/159/.
We’d love to hear from you.
‘I felt so good not being under his thumb’
I have been off and on with
this man I know for 5 years. He will get help to get sober, but not for
long. He is right back to it in no time. It’s not so much that he drinks, he is
just so abusive. I try to get away but he keeps pulling me back. He just got
out of jail. He was in for 6 weeks and I am sorry to say but I felt so good not
being under his thumb for that period of time.
I am 50
and it is getting hard to keep this up. My kids don’t know I am still seeing
him. I pray to God all the time, “Please don’t let him be drunk.” I fell for it
this time, but I want my life back. If it happens again I pray I can just get
in my car and not look back.
Donna
‘For him, for our
son, for me’
I recently
messed up for the 2nd or 3rd time. The hard thing is my husband is out of state
for another 3 weeks. He is trying to go to school and now I just made it harder
for him. I have to stop drinking -- for him, for our son, for me. So, I thought
I would try this site out before I go and enter a paid program.
I ache and
need a tissue now.
Anonymous
‘Reaching out’
I am an
alcoholic and a drug addict. I was in rehab for approximately 85 out of
the 90 days I was supposed to be there. I was discharged when I had to go to a
psychiatrist to get a refill for my antidepressants. Now I am drinking
again. I am trying to get back into detox, but there are no county beds
available and we cannot afford to pay for it, as we have no health insurance.
At least I have been reaching out and calling people I know in the
program. I left messages for about ten people and am waiting for some
calls back. I hope to get a ride to the women’s Big Book study tonight.
I have the
cutest kitty in the whole wide world laying at my feet, and the people I have
spoken to (including my ex-sponsor) are all a true blessing from God, my Higher
Power. Don't believe it when you hear people say that "the door knob
can be your higher power." An inanimate object can NEVER be your higher
power. I truly believe that. The steps talk about God ("good orderly
direction"), the Father of Light, and I know it's hard to believe if you
have never believed, but whether you believe in Him or not, He exists!
I pray for
my friends every day, and I pray for all of you, too. I don't believe in
luck or coincidences -- I believe in blessings. And I truly believe I am
blessed to have found this program. As you can see, I feel much better
since I have had a chance to share my experience, strength and hope.
Virginia P.
‘Finally on the right
track’
In 1995, I
was injured in a car accident. I was given a lot of pain meds and knew I had a
problem with them, but was afraid to ask for help. About a year and a half
later, I was arrested for writing phony prescriptions and was put on probation.
So, I started drinking on the weekends and going to parties. I ended up with
one DUI after another. Being from a small town, the judge slapped me on the
wrist and let me go with a 28-day rehab.
In 2002, I
was arrested twice more for writing phony prescriptions. This led to my first
trip to Julia Tutwiler Prison for Women. I did 8 months on a 4-year sentence
and come out on parole. I did well for a while -- I stopped drinking alcohol
and insisted I could control my pill using. But, after about 2 more DUIs and a
new charge of fraudulent credit card use, I was sent back to Tutwiler, this
time on a 10-year sentence.
I'm now at
home after 20 months incarcerated and I see things much more clearly than I did
before. I completed 4 substance abuse programs and I'm currently taking a
teacher training course for walking the 12-steps with Jesus Christ.
I'm on
parole until November 2009, with mandatory drug screens. This is one time I
know I will not have to worry about having clean urine. I'm finally on the
right track and I'm taking things one day at a time.
Becky E.
‘Hide and seek’
I am 81
years old. I grew up in a stable happy family. I was involved in church. I met
my husband-to-be on a blind date. We were married in 1946. I worked while he
went to college. He graduated and went to work in the textile industry. We
moved to South Carolina and then to Charlotte, North Carolina.
We had two children and everything was great with us. This went on until 1971.
I don’t
know when I crossed the line from social drinking to alcoholic drinking, but I
sure did. I began to isolate, drinking by myself. I really just wanted to get away
from everybody and every thing. My husband and I played hide and seek: I would
hide the liquor and he would find it. One day, our son approached me and
asked me to quit. I told him I would, but found out I couldn’t.
My husband
asked me what I wanted out of life. I said I didn’t know. I had everything
materialistic, yet I was empty inside. He asked me if I wanted help and I said
I did. He had a man from AA call and twelfth-step me. The man told me if I
didn’t drink before Friday he would take me to an AA meeting. He didn’t call me
all week, but he did call my husband. And amazingly, I lost the desire to drink
before I went to my first meeting.
In AA they
told me to stick with the winners, and I did that. I started doing service work
and became the first woman chairperson of the Intergroup Association. I helped
start 5 new groups. I work with others and sponsor 3 ladies. This has been such
a blessing to me. Today I go to 5 meetings a week. I attend a newcomers meeting
and listen to why they went back out and drank or how they struggled to come
back. With my 32 years in AA, I always hear something new in that meeting.
The
hardest thing I had to go through in sobriety was the loss of our
17-year-old grandson. He died in a motorcycle accident. I know he was trying to
kick his drug addiction, but could not. I feel he is in heaven,
waiting for me to join him. I stayed in the rooms of AA crying all the
time, but I felt comforted and loved by everyone. I have been able to
share that story with others who have lost someone close to them.
I feel
today that I am happy, joyous, and free. I have AA and the God of my
understanding to thank for that. I never dreamed of the serenity and acceptance
that I feel today. These are some of the miracles in my life.
Helen
‘The men of my
parties’
How do you
start a story that began before you were born? Both of my parents were
alcoholics. Biologically, this makes me susceptible to substance
abuse. Although my siblings won't admit it out loud, inside they know the
truth about our heritage. All 3 of us have been in recovery at various
times of our lives.
I hit my bottom and knew that I needed help to
stop drinking. I started attending newcomers meetings in my area and still
felt alone. I was looking for something more than what I saw. Recovery to
me was supposed to give you your life back, with hope and the promise of a new
tomorrow. All I saw was defeat -- people who looked like they were still
in pain.
Over and over again, I listened to newcomers
talk about slipping after 3 days or 3 weeks. Then I realized that the program
is a "spiritual" one based on the ability of a power greater than
ourselves to restore us to sanity. Gradually, my sanity has become what
God determined it was supposed to be.
I am coming up on 9 years of victory over Jack
Daniels and Jose Cuervo. These were the men of my parties. Today I
have purpose without feeling inadequate or less than. Today I look forward
to sharing my story and my gifts with others. I know I cannot save other people
-- I can only share my own victory and hope that it will help someone
else.
Pearl S.
‘That four-letter
word’
My name is
Lisa and I'm an alcoholic. I got sober in February 1990. I have had
an unreal sober life. I have many things to be grateful for today, if I can
just remember that. I also have many trials and tribulations to
overcome. The great thing is that I am not alone. Alcoholics
Anonymous has truly been a gift to me. Without the abilities that I’ve
learned in sobriety to share my burdens, talk about my feelings, and to seek
out solutions, I would be inside a bottle.
So for the
newcomer, hang in there. For those with a little time, hang in there.
That four-letter word "time" comes to my mind through the voices of
those around me. As long as I stay sober, I can get through
anything. So keep your chin up --
and do the next right thing.