SPOTLIGHT ON…

Letters from Readers

A number of readers have recently been in touch with Sober 24, telling their stories and sharing their experience, strength, and hope with us. If you’d like to be in touch, too, you can “Tell Us Your Story” at www.sober24.com/E_Zine/Submissions/159/. We’d love to hear from you.

‘Stuck on stupid’


 I've just been out of treatment for 60 days. But I made the mistake of coming home before I was emotionally prepared to deal with a lot. I want my sobriety and don't want to go back to an abusive relationship. I am being still abused, not physically but verbally, by people who are supposed to love me.

I'm stuck on stupid and ready to go back to the only thing I know. I don’t want to go back to him because it could end up as a tragedy. But, I'm starting to give up. I'd appreciate any suggestions, feedback, or just to chat.

Laura9962@yahoo.com

‘I choose the booze’

I don’t understand some alcoholics. They seem so responsible and in control. Me? I’ve thrown everything away and I’m still doing it. I’m on my third family. Once again, I’m loved and worshipped, but I choose the booze. What an idiot.

Russ

‘I wasn’t really doing it for myself’

I started my drinking career around age 13. All through high school I was constantly drunk or high and in constant trouble with the law. I was termed an habitual offender and lost my driver’s license more times than I can remember. How I never got a DUI back then is beyond me!

After high school, I continued drinking, moved to Florida with my first real girlfriend, thinking if I got away from all the old places I wouldn't want to drink so much. NOT! We moved back after about 6 months and I continued drinking.

My girlfriend and I got married, and soon after I was introduced to cocaine. I abused that for about 6 months until I had to sell my car because my drug use was getting quite costly. By this time my wife was getting pretty tired of my drinking and wanted a divorce.

So, I left her and moved in with an older woman who had 4 kids. After about a year, I started turning their life upside down and finally moved out because it was getting worse day by day. I stayed pretty much alone with my alcohol for the next few years and managed to buy my first house by myself. All this while I never really considered myself to be an alcoholic. I held a truck driving job, bought a house, and pretty much totally remodeled it on my own. People who were telling me I was an alcoholic had to be nuts.

Then I got a DUI. Somehow, I kept my job, though I still thought I couldn’t really be an alcoholic. If only I could find that one truly special person to fill my life, everything would be okay, I thought. And, lo and behold, one day there she was. We got together, lived together for about a year and decided to get married. My drinking had slowed in the first part of our being together, but as soon as we got married it returned to where it had been before. Then the verbal abuse started and after 14 months being married she decided she needed to leave.

After she was gone about a month I walked into the rooms of AA, strung together 43 days, but then started feeling, what's the point, she's not going to come back. I guess as much as I thought so I wasn't really doing it for myself. For the last couple of months I've only been able to manage a week or so at a time, if that. That's where I am now, but for some reason I keep coming back to this site. I just keep hoping and praying I will get back what I had for 43 wonderful days.

W. K.

‘Changed in so many ways’

My name is Don. I live in Macon, Georgia. My sobriety date is 04-21-97. My life has been changed in so many ways since finding sobriety through the Twelve Steps of my recovery program. But, it didn’t come easy and I had to put a lot of effort into it.

I started drinking at the age of 13 and by the time I was at my bottom I was 39. What happened after that I take no credit for. It all goes to the God of my understanding and the program I’m involved in.

I’m new here at Sober 24 and just wanted to say hi.

Don

‘Sober for today’

Hi, I’m Sarah. I was a member of Sober 24 for a long time but found the evil drink (again) and drifted away.

I was brought up in a violent, alcoholic home. I had six siblings, and it seemed like the police were a part of my extended family, too. I got married at 17 to get out of the family home. I was married for 8 years and had 2 lovely kids. Then my husband committed suicide. That’s when I started drinking really bad. My kids really suffered, coming home all the time to a drunk. I thought everything was alright if I just gave them money, but it got worse no matter what I gave them. All they wanted was love, not material things.

I met a lovely guy and got married 18 months later. He is my soul mate, my rock. I joined AA through his support and guidance. We’ve been married now nearly 20 years.

Well, I hit the bottle again. Then we were told he had terminal cancer. It’s been so hard trying to come to terms with this. He needs me so much and I have managed to get off the drink again. I will be 12 weeks sober on Monday, but I can’t get out to meetings as he so sick. Then, I remembered Sober 24. You were all a great support to me before, so here I am, god willing, sober for today.

Sarah