The Gray Zone
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| 1/21/2010 |
by Ames S.
amess@sober24.com
When I was younger, I wanted things in life to be either black or
white. It’s like I had an overwhelming need for things to be one way or
the other. Anything in between caused me to think too much, and my
thinking capacity was easily compromised.
I’ve come to realize, however, as I’ve grown older, that much of my life actually takes place in the large – and seemingly ever-expanding – gray zone between black and white, where things change on a daily basis, where mistakes are made and corrected, where conflict and resolution live side by side rather than in entirely separate neighborhoods.
Like many of us, I’ve been thinking a lot about Haiti recently, trying to understand and comprehend the incredible misfortune that has befallen that country. There’s no doubt the devastation caused by the earthquake will have unimaginable consequences for decades to come and there’s no easy way to fathom the fact that thousands have died and thousands more have had their lives irrevocably changed.
And yet, alongside the devastation, are miracles – people rescued from the rubble, family members found alive, desperation eased. In my old black-and-white construct, this paradox would have blown a few gaskets in my emotional machinery and left me so frustrated and angry the only thing to do would be to order up a stiff drink and try to forget about it. That way, I wouldn’t have to feel anything – neither the pain of the devastation nor the magnificence of the miracle.
Recently I came across a copy of a sermon delivered by Rev. Forrest Church, Minister of Public Theology at All Souls Unitarian Church in New York City, now deceased. The sermon was entitled, “How to make the most out of hard times.” In this sermon, Rev. Church noted that it is not so much what happens to a person that determines the trajectory of his or her life, but rather how that person responds to what happens.
“One thing a crisis almost always does is force us to change,” said Rev. Church. “We will either change for the better or for the worse.”
These tumultuous times will leave their mark on all of us, no doubt. However, I am trying to remain flexible and do what I can rather than being scared off by the overwhelming nature of what I cannot. I can’t fix the problems in Haiti. Nor can I resolve the difficulties so many of us face right here in this country. But I can resolve to let them change me.
Along these lines, I came across another quote recently that’s been helpful. It comes from a writer named Sharon Astyk, who writes, referring to the global financial crisis and the crisis of faith so many are having as a consequence, “The way out of this current crisis is through it; to go forward from where we are, with what we have and who we are. It isn't required of any of us that we not be afraid, or that we don't spend a lot of time grumpily wishing that someone else would do the work... But it is required that while we curse fate, previous generations, the current administration, G-d and the Federal Reserve, we get to work. What work? Tikkun Olam, if you are a Jew, or even if you find the metaphor compelling – tikkun olam means ‘the repair of the world.’ In my faith, that is why we are here – to fix what is broken, repair what is damaged, to improve what can be improved. As the saying goes, it is not required of us that we complete the work, but it is not permitted for us not to try.”
It would seem, then, that there’s plenty of room for action in that large gray area between devastation and miracles.
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