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Attention, Shoppers

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11/18/2008

by Ames S.
amess@sober24.com

I’ve never been much of a shopper. In fact, the very idea of wandering through aisle after aisle of assorted merchandise is enough to put me into a narcoleptic state. I thought it was something I’d eventually grow out of, but it seems to have lingered through the years. I’m not entirely certain of the origin, but I suspect these feelings are rooted in my childhood, quite possibly one distasteful afternoon at the age of ten when I was forced to accompany my mother to Bloomingdales after a friend and I had gotten into my parent’s liquor cabinet. 

We had been careful, taking only a little bit out of each bottle, but the cumulative effect had put us both in some difficulty. Choking the mix down, we were giggly for a while, then impervious, bouncing off the furniture, falling onto the floor. When my mother discovered us, she simply shook her head.

“Get your coats on,” she muttered ominously, and we looked at each other with eyes wide, uncertain whether we were about to be sent to Siberia or simply marched around the corner to an execution site.

After dropping off my friend at his home in a cab, my mother and I continued on downtown in silence. In retrospect, it would have been difficult for her to have been too harsh in her assessment of the situation, given her own proclivities toward afternoon drinking and outrageous behavior, so I think she was simply mulling things over in her silence. I’m not sure if she meant the shopping trip as punishment (who could be so cruel?) or whether she simply didn’t know what else to do with me at that moment, but I’m sure she had no idea how it would affect me.

So, there I was, still wobbly drunk, and trailing my mother through a department store, mannequins looming like freakish giants, perfume sprays erupting like steam, endless rows of folded sweaters like battlefield trench work, and no place even to sit or lie down. Floor after floor, connected by an endless network of zig-zag escalators, like wood chippers going up, up, up, and then down, down, down.

We marched through men’s wear and the jewelry department, past shoes and handbags, beauty products and things cashmere. Before long, we were surrounded by coats and outerwear, silk patterned scarves and wool hats. Item by item, floor by floor, I soon lost track of where I was, where we had come into the store, following numbly behind in what may have been a precursor to the many blackouts I would experience in the years to come.

While I haven’t fully recovered, I have gotten a little better over the years since I’ve been sober, to the point where I was recently able to offer my services as a chauffer on a shopping expedition organized by my wife and daughter. It was understood, of course, that I wouldn’t be getting out of the car, but would – without griping or expressing any other outward signs of negativity toward shopping – wait patiently at each stop until the proposed items had been purchased.

Personally, I thought I did very well, smiling my way to parking spots outside Old Navy, H&M, Banana Republic and a series of other stores downtown. Some unsanctioned forays for make-up and hair products began pushing me toward the edge, but I was able to settle back down and make it through without incident. I even went so far as to accompany my daughter for a moment into one store where she hoped to find a particular pair of pants.

Looking over, as I stood shell-shocked in the main aisle of the store, suffering a series of painful flashbacks it seemed, she leaned over and whispered, “What are you doing in here?”

I looked at her as if she were a stranger at first, her features only slowly becoming familiar.

“I don’t know,” I responded, shaking my head.

“Why don’t you go back to the car,” she suggested, nodding her head with reassurance as if she were trying to coax a toddler back into his seat in the middle of class.

“Yeah,” I said, taking one last look around the cavernous store, with its racks of clothing and salespeople swarming the aisles. “I think I will.”

Sitting in the car, with the driver’s seat comfortably reclined and the radio turned on, safe again in my own little bubble as the pre-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas, pre-next Christmas shopping machinery slipped into gear all around, I realized that while alcoholism may have robbed me of many things over the years – opportunities missed, desires thwarted, friendships spurned – shopping was not one of the losses that I regret. And, while dragging me off to Bloomingdale’s hadn’t ultimately stopped my experimentation with alcohol it had, perhaps, been more of a blessing than a curse.