Spotlight
Spotlight
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| 2/3/2010 |
SPOTLIGHT ON…
Letters from Readers
A number of readers have been in touch with Sober 24, telling their stories and sharing their experience, strength, and hope with us. If you’d like to be in touch, too, you can “Tell Us Your Story” at www.sober24.com/E_Zine/Submissions/159/. We’d love to hear from you.
‘My dilemma’
I have just celebrated my first 6 years of back-to-back sobriety, helped initially by Sober24. My son (31) has recently admitted he is an alcoholic, but keeps trying the “moderation thing” or the “just no shots” thing. His work schedule makes it nearly impossible for him to attend AA, plus he doesn't have a driver's license or a car (since the fourth DUI). My dilemma is this: he has asked me to be his sponsor.
Any experience, strength and wisdom out there? Send it to my email if you like.
lovepats@msn.com
‘If not for AA...’
I am an alcoholic. I believe I was an alcoholic from the moment I was born. I showed all the character defects early in life. My parents drank, both my grandfathers drank. My parents divorced when I was seven and my mother remarried an alcoholic who was a very loving and caring person until he drank and then was very abusive to my mother. My father’s drinking continued to escalate over the years.
I had my first drink when I was 14 – got drunk and blacked out – and my drinking career took off from that point. At 16 I decided I knew it all and ran away from home with my girlfriend. A year later, we were married. But it ended soon after. Within 6 months I had found my next victim and married for the second time. She was determined to cure my drinking problem. Little did she know I was just as determined to prove her wrong. So, in less than a year that marriage ended, too. It only took me 2 months to find my third victim and was married again. Within a year, my son was born. We spent the next four years barely making ends meet. Times were really hard, but we stuck it out. Then the clouds rolled back. We both found good jobs and had money in the bank. We bought our first house, got a brand new car, and had a savings account. I was working two jobs to make the payments and finance my drinking.
When my son was six, my wife said she wanted out. She had had all she could stand. She left, giving me everything, including our son. I continued to drink, managed to marry twice more and divorce both of them. Then I met my sixth victim. All of a sudden, I had a new wife and two stepdaughters and my drinking became a daily affair.
A year later, my younger brother went to rehab and I went to AA. I have been sober ever since.
Life today is more than I ever could have imagined. Our kids are grown and living on their own. I have two beautiful grandkids. My Al-Anon wife still loves me, even after 12 years of marriage. I have been in AA meetings with both of my older children and they seem to have a good hold on life for now. My father has been sober for 17 years and for that I am truly grateful. My younger brother is going back to rehab for his second time and he seems to be ready for unconditional surrender.
I don’t have a doubt in my mind if not for AA I would still be out there adding new chapters to my story. Each night I thank my higher power for helping me not to find it necessary to convince myself that I needed a drink. And for that, I am grateful.
Donny
‘I just want my life back’
My story quickly breaks down like this. I met my husband a year and a half ago. At that time he was a recovering heroin addict and had been clean for about a year. I told him, if it was in the past, then it was in the past. We quickly fell in love and married last September.
This whole time, he was clean. Well, in mid-December I started noticing odd behavior in him. I had my suspicions. Of course I asked him about it and he denied anything. By Christmas, he had lost his job because he failed a drug test at work. He said all he did was smoke some pot. I believed him.
A week later he was out of control. $500 was missing and he did not care about anything. He finally admitted that he started using heroin, cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol and that it had been going on for about two months. I immediately moved out and went back to my parents. He acted as though he did not care.
A week after I left, he said he wanted help and so he entered rehab. He has now been there for twelve days and seems to be doing really well.
Unfortunately, I have lost my home, because I could not afford it without his income. My parents and friends want nothing to do with him. I am torn. I love him, but he hurt me deeply. I do not know if I will ever be able to forgive and or trust him again. I just want my life back again and I want him to stay sober.
Anonymous
‘When I drink I can’t stop’
I'm 23 years old and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't been sober for very long. I've only been trying for a few months now, but I’ve known that I had a problem for a long time.
I've struggled with depression since I was very young and when I started drinking I thought I had finally found my way out. I’m a shy person. I never felt like I fit in. I always had a hard time making friends.
I think the first time I was drunk was when I was 13. I don't really remember it, but I know that I loved it. Once I turned 19, I moved out and found a second home in a local bar that I went to every day.
This was the first place I felt totally comfortable. It was okay for a while, but with being drunk all the time I started making some really bad choices and eventually stopped going to that bar out of embarrassment. At this point, I think I’ve been to every bar in the state. Part of my problem is that I’m really good at covering this all up. No one thinks I have a problem. Maybe they all have problems, too.
Everyone I know drinks. I can out-drink almost anyone I know. I can’t imagine having fun without drinking, but I have to do this. My drinking led me to have panic attacks. I started seeing a shrink a few years ago and because I didn’t tell her about my drinking she had me start taking anxiety medication. I now realize that I wasn’t having panic attacks at all but was having alcohol withdrawal.
When I drink I can't stop. I get sloppy and depressed and all I can think about is killing myself. This is not normal, I know.
This here is my first step. I am very nervous in face-to-face meetings, so I’m giving this a try. It’s nice to read others’ stories and see that I’m not alone. Thanks to everyone for sharing.
Katie
‘I am happy to be clean’
I feel ashamed to say I am an alcoholic because I am so upset I got to this point. I grew up in a family where everyone drank. My father was an alcoholic and many nights when I was a kid I could remember him coming home drunk and beating my mother. I couldn’t understand his illness at the time and why he did it. I just thought mommy was being bad.
I had my first drink at 14. By the age of 16, I was a big time drinker. I spent my teenage life drinking and not caring where I would be the next day. I thank God I was never hurt or raped. In my 20s I couldn't stop. I felt so sick that I tried to commit suicide and was hospitalized.
All my relationships ended because of alcohol. I blamed my father because he fed me the poison at an early age. He would take me to bars with him and we would get drunk. At times I would beg him for us to go home, but he would stay and drink. I hated him for it. Unfortunately, he’s still drinking.
A couple of years ago, I met a great guy who doesn't drink. He stuck with me and I saw how much he cared and loved me, so I decided to clean up. I am happy to be clean and I know now I can enjoy myself without having a drink. I did it for myself, not for anyone else, but my boyfriend loves me even more now.
I pray to God to give me the courage to stay clean. And I pray he will do the same for my father.
Natalie
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